Ben Franklin's Life Story on Twitter

The following are tweets on Ben Franklin's life story starting in his teen's when he was sent to work for his Brother James and started learning the printing business. However, he is being channeled through a 13 year-old volunteer so all of his tweets are formatted in combination of text shorthand, emoticons, online jargon and leetspeak.

Under each tweet is a helpful translation. These are a list of the "directors cut" version of the tweets. Some of which are longer than what appeared on the actual BFFFranklin Twitter site.

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Tweet: OMG dad sez , btw Ben, U cant b a sailor cuz im freakishly paranoid ! WAI! now i G2W @ JBros prntshp cuz NW im gonna b makn candles! d00d KPC on this. TBC!

Translation: Oh my God! Dad says. "By the way Ben, you can't be a sailor because I'm freakishly paranoid." What an idiot! Now I got to work at my brother James's print shop because no way I'm going to be making candles! Dude! Keep parents clueless on this. To be continued!

Tweet: K So im not as TOd cuz im sendn txts to JBro as SILENCE D0good SWMBO >-) . d00d he wil B all %-( tryin to guess who she is. Betr than Cotn Mathrs Essays they sux! TNTL I luv this WIT stuff to mess w JBros head. ;-)

Translation: OK So I'm not as ticked off because I'm sending texts to my brother James as Silence Dogood she who must be obeyed (Evil Grin) Dude he will be all confused trying to guess who she is. Better than Cotton Mather's Essays they suck! Trying not to laugh. I love this Wordsmith in Training stuff to mess with my brother James' head! ( Wink )

Tweet: WTG JBro! U r way OTT ! Sil D0good in Courant txt of 4/2/22 sez 2 lay off politix JBro is JUADLAM LOL! :D

Translation: Way to go James! You are over the top! Silence Dogood published in Courant issue April 2, 1722 says to lay off politics and James is jumping up and down like a monkey! Laugh out loud! (happy face)

Tweet: OMGYG2BK JBro is B& and wz bustd by the judge for his OP ed in 1/1723 Courant quotn Sil D0good (he still dk its me lol) im the print shop DBAU. I h8 it. :-P

Translation: OH My God you've got to be kidding! James is banned and was arrested by the judge for his Opinion Editorials in the January 1723 Courant quoting Silence Dogood. (he still doesn't know its me Laughing Out Loud) I'm back in the print shop doing business as usual. I hate it. Yuk

Tweet: JBro wnts me 2 run BAU & prnt Courant 4 him in mah nme, but HE is IC! NW! im OH & goin 2 NY! I <3 NY!! C u there!

Translation: James wants me to run the business as usual and print the Courant for him in my name, but HE is in charge! NO WAY! I'm out of here and going to New York! I love New York! See you there!

Tweet: I luv d sea bt dis trip s realy offcorZ . not 2 NY yet bt lots of <*)))-{ 2e@ bt I'm a VegG

Translation: I love the sea but this voyage is really off course. Not to NY yet, but lots of fish to eat, but I'm a vegetarian

Tweet: Frying <*)))-{ smelZ gr8 bt I'm a vegG Ah loop hol! If <*)))))))))))---{ can eat <*))-{ then I don't C Y we cn't e@ <*)))-{ 2 no mor vegG 4 me!

Translation: Frying cod smells great but I am a vegetarian Ahh a loop hole! if big cod eat little cod then I don't see why we mayn't eat cod too . l no more vegetarian for me!

Tweet: K so NY was a bust no wrk! NY isa 1 prntshop twn owned WilBrd4d! Pals say there wz wrk n Phily CU la

Translation: Okay, so NY was a bust! No work! NY is a one printshop town owned by Willam Bradford. A friend said there was work in Philadelphia, see you there.

Tweet: I'm in Philly n I'm wet 'N smelly! I wsh I had sum mor cash 2 buy threads. ths sux almst mor thN Bostn!

Translation: I'm in Philadelphia and I'm wet smelly! I wish I had some more cash to buy threads This sucks ALMOST MORE THAN Boston.

Tweet: OMG WilBrd4d is in Phily and introd me 2 hs pal Samual Keimer now hes my bos. SamK s a noob & I realy nd 2 get dis shop wrkn!

Translation: Oh My God! William Bradford came to Philadelphia and introduced me to Samuel Keimer so now he is my boss. He is real new to printing and I need to get this shop working!

Tweet: U cnt mke t up! cuz guv came 2 day n sez I wz lk d most clevA boy of my age. He tld me 2 *t my own print shop.

Translation: You can't make this up! The governor came today and said I was like the most clever boy of my age! He told me to start my own printing shop!

Tweet: >:-@! Dad wnt lend me csh 2 *t my own shop hes all "that's nce of d gov 2 sa dat bt ur2 young" I'm T.Od

Translation: Ahhhrgh! Dad won't lend me cash to start my own shop. He's all "That's nice of the governor to say that , but you're to young" I'm ticked off!

Tweet: Im btr now da guv Dcided 2 pay 4 my prntn shp ROTFLOL ! Off to Lndn ina few mnth to gt fonts. Jst nd 2 figa ot h2 in4m my boss SamK!

Translation: I'm better now The Governor decided to pay for my printing shop. Rolling the floor laughing out loud I'm going to London in a few months to get fonts. Now I just need to figure out how to inform my boss Keimer.

Tweet: Keimer S stl da man

Translation: Keimer is still my boss

Tweet: KMan S %-9 ! LoL we db8s on ethos +I got him 2B a vegG. Hes no gud @ it n I thk he quit!

Translation: Keimer is silly! Ha! We had debates on philosophy and I got him to be a vegetarian! He is no good at it and I think he'll quit!

Tweet: KMan is :-0~ 4 meat. He Dcided 2 quit nt e@tiN meat n invitD me n cpl othrs ovr 4 a :@) dinA but he 8 d :@) b4 we go la!

Translation: Keimer is drooling for meat! He decided to quit and invite me and a couple of friends over a pork dinner, but he ate the whole pig before we got there!

Tweet: I'm n <3 with Deborah Reed! I 1st saw Deb t OOMA wen I came 2 Philly, & now I ve a stabl Socl st&dng so I may av a chnc 4 her 2 mRyMe!

Translation: I'm in love with Deborah Reed! I saw Deb, the object of my affection when I came to Philadelphia and now I have stable Social standing so I have a chance for her to marry me!

Tweet: Deb s Mom S :-/ & z I had 2W8 'til I actuly av a prnt shp of my own. I mst w8 til I gt bac frm Eng!

Translation: Deborah's Mom is skeptical and said I have to wait till I actually have a printing shop of my own. I must wait till I return from England.

Tweet: Eng hre I com as soon as I gt d letAs W d $ frm KGov of PA!

Translation: England, here I come as soon as I get the letters with the money from Governor Kieth of Pennsylvania

Tweet: KGov of PA keeps promsng bt stil not snd Ny letAs W $!! Dis S d 3rd tym I askD 4t $ & I'm gtN worid coz t boat 4 Eng leav 2DAY!!!!!!

Translation: Governor Keith of Pennsylvania Keeps promising but still hasn't sent any letters with money! This is the third time I asked him for the money letter and I'm getting worried because the boat for England leaves today!

Tweet: WTH! guv Keith's papers n vouchers wernt by hm 4 me! Papers wr frm n bout d felon Riddleson! onoz now I'm n Lndn W no st&ing, no $ n no job! {:-/ 1724 aint a mrry xmas:-(

Translation: What the Heck! Governor Keith's papers and vouchers were not by him for me! Papers were from and about the felon Riddleson! Oh no now I'm in London with no standing, no money, and no job! 1724 is not a Merry Christmas!

Tweet: My pal Ralph went W me 2 Lndn 2B n Rtst. w@! He's nt goin b2 hs kin n Philly! :O He's levN hs yf OMG!

Translation: My friend Ralph went with me to London to be an artist. WHAT! He's not going back to his family in Philadelphia! Shocked! He's leaving his wife! Oh my God!

Tweet: Ralph S job- n S mooching $ n my apt. I wsh I lft hm @ ho :P a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Translation: Ralph is jobless and is mooching money and my apartment! I wish I left him at home :P afiniafi

Tweet: I invItd d grlnxdor ot4fanC f%d , chocl@ & a gr8 @mosfER bak @ myn bt Ralph gotta her 1st @ lEst hes livN W her now & not me!

Translation: I invited the girl next door out for fancy food, chocolate and great atmosphere back at my place, but Ralph got to her first. At least he is living with her now and not me!

Tweet: Ralph S an Idiot! He got a job as a teacha UzN my nme. He claims he doesn't wnt hs nme associatd W bn a teacha Y? I dnt knw o wel!

Translation: Ralph is an Idiot! He got a job as a teacher using MY name. He claims he doesn't want his name associated with being a teacher , why? I don't know, oh well!

Tweet: No boring C Mather =I:-[= n Ldn. Vry XcitN n nothN lft of da disezed & fyr of 60 yrs ago. I'm inpre$D W Lndn fyr fightRs , make a note 4 my 2 do lst in Philly!

Translation: No boring Cotton Mather puritans in Lndn! Very exciting and nothing left of the plague or fire of 60 years ago! I'm impressed with London's fire fighters, make a note for my-to-do list in Philadephia!

Tweet: Got a job W a printn pr$ onr anmed Watts who pr$ hs ovr 50 men wurkn, bt mnE \_/ 2 mch on d job! Dey \_/ heaps of (B) n Lndn!

Translation: Got a job with a printing press owner named Watts, who's press has over 50 men working , but many drink to much on the job! They drink a lot of beer in London.

Tweet: mnE interestin ppl n Ldn. I evn sold a purse md of asbestos 2 d secy of d Royal soc.!

Translation: Many interesting people in London. I even sold a purse made of asbestos to the secretary of the Royal Society!

Tweet: I lk teachN my F? h2 swim n now dey wn2 fund a swiming skool 4me n Ldn!

Translation: I like teaching my friends how to swim and now they want to fund a swimming school for me in London!

Tweet: gt a jb but Ldn wawot

Translation: Got a job but London, what a waste of time.

Tweet: i miss america. i want 2 go hom

Translation: I miss America. I want to go home.

Tweet: JOI!!!! met merchant tom denham he S leavin 4 philly soon mayB i cn gt lift

Translation: Joy! Met merchant Thomas Denham. He is leaving for Philadelphia soon. Maybe I can get a lift.

Tweet: tom denham S vry nice!!! <3 offered 2 giv me a lift bac 2 philly f i agreed 2wrk az a clerk n hz shop

Translation: Thomas Denham is very nice! Offered to give me a lift back to Philadelphia if I agreed to work as a clerk in his shop.

Tweet: OMW2 philly leavN n jul 1726 1VHB!!!!

Translation: On my way to Philidelphia leaving in July 1726. One very happy Ben!

Tweet: My Bday was gr8! Thnx!

Translation: My Birthday was great! Thanks!

Tweet: im feelN btr bt Denham S ill! :(  i hope he gts btr!

Translation: I'm feeling better, but Denham is ill! I hope he gets better!

Tweet: Denham  DIED! :'C He wz lk a dad 2 me. im no longA n det$ but i am  now job-.

Translation: Denham died! He was like a father to me. I am no longer in debt to  him, but I  am now jobless.

Tweet: i hve triD 2 l%k 4 wrk as a merchant, bt havN no luk. i hav no connexS :(

Translation: I have tried to look for work as a merchant, but having no luck. I  have no connections. :(

Tweet: Met mah bro nlaw. He thinx i shd *t prntn agn. but dat means  wurkn 4 Kiemer. :P

Translation: Met my brother in law, He thinks I should start printing again. But  that means working for  Kiemer.

Tweet: Kiemer offered me a Jb!?  im gunA wrk as a boss. bt I wunder Y? he hired me...

Translation: Kiemer offered me a job!? I'm going to work as a manager, but I wonder  why he hired me...

Tweet: i fnd out w@ Kiemer s  ^ 2. he jst wnts me 2 train hz employEs 4 hm.! thn he wll fyr meh. I need figa ot w@ 2 do bout ths.

Translation: I found out what Kiemer is up to. He just wants me to train his employees for him! then he will fire me. I need figure out what to do about this.

Tweet: Mtg nw clients & revisitin old.  ths s a gud tym 2 lern nu thngs abt d trde.

Translation: Meeting new clients and revisiting old. This is a good time to learn new things about the trade.

Tweet: KIEMER S A BIG IDIOT! HE FYRD ME 4 LOKIN OT TH WNDW @ A COMMOTION N D ST! I lft with jst mh ht. I hpe i nvr C hm agn! >:0

Translation: KIEMER IS A BIG IDIOT! HE FIRED ME FOR LOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT A COMMOTION ON THE STREET! I left with just my hat. I hope I never see him again.

Tweet: K, im btr nw. i dont knw if i mhve mny options thO. i thnk i my hve 2 return 2 Boston 4 $. :(

Translation: Okay I'm calmer now. I don''t know if I have many options though. I think I may have to return to Boston for money..

Tweet: NU OPTION! Hugh Meridith, 1 of th mn I traind @ Kiemers pnted ot tht Kiemers biz S gunA fail sn. tht gves me opertntys 2 *t mah own biz! need $ thO...

Translation: NEW OPTION! Hugh Meridith, one of the men I trained at Kiemers, pointed out that kiemer's business is going to fail soon. That gives me opportunities to  start my own buisness. I need cash though....

Tweet: Meredith 2 da resQ! Agn! Hs dad z he w%d loan us th $ 2 *t our own shp! Nw ll w'w 2 do S w8 'til Meredith S don wurkn 4 Kiemer

Translation: Meredith to the rescue! AGAIN! His father said he would loan us the  money to start our own shop! Now all we have to do is wait until  Meredith is done working for Kiemer!

Tweet: w@? Kiemer sent me a most civil msg. He wnts me 2wrk 4 him agn, sAyn we shewdn't let dis argumnt ruin r "friendship" ( mor lk a fiend ship)

Translation: What? Kiemer sent me a most civil message. He wants me to work for him  again, saying we shouldn't let this argument ruin our "friendship" (more like a fiend ship).

Tweet: Fnd ot w@ Kiemer S ^ 2 agn! He hs a a $ prntn cntrct 4 nu Jersey &he cnt do it w/o me!

Translation: Found out what Kiemer is up to again! He has a a money printing  contract for New Jersey and he can't do it with out me!

Tweet: Im wurkn 4 Kiemer agn. @ lEst dis S givin me a chnc to lern nu prntn trix, n a chnc 2 zug Meredith. Prntn $ isa challnG! :D

Translation: I am working for Kiemer again. At least this is giving me a chance to  learn new printing tricks, and a chance to train Meredith. Printing  money is a challenge!

Tweet: finly done wurkn 4 KIemer 4 gud! Meredith S done wurkn for him! n r own printn pr$ came n frm ENG! HUZAH!

Translation: Finally done working for KIemer for good! Meredith is done working for  him and our own printing press came in from England!  HUZAH!

Tweet: 1st prntin jb! WAHOO! ths is so x-iting!

Translation: First printing job! WAHOOO! This is so exiting!

Tweet: joe breintnall, a quaker, is havn me prnt a hstory of the quakers . im gonna prnt a page a day!

Translation: Joseph Breintnall, a Quaker, is having me print a history of the Quakers. I'm going to print a sheet a day! No excuses!

Tweet: peple eithr thnk th buiz wll EPIC FAIL or EPIC WIN! I know it wll b th latter 1.

Translation: People either think the business will fail epically, or succeed epically. I know it will be the latter.

Tweet: merridit is causn probs. he wn't lstin 2 me! he's taken ^ drnkin agn. :p not gewd.

Translation: Merridith is causing problems. He won't listen to me! He's taken up drinking again. :p This is bad.

Tweet: Strted club 2day! Junto its clled. It's 4 all mn who wnt 2 fnd da trth 4 trth's sake! :D We mt on fridays! :D

Translation: Started a club today! Junto it's called. It is for all men who want to find the truth for truths sake! :D We meet on Fridays and we talk about nearly every thing!

Tweet: i hve been thnkin latly & i hve a few rsolutions 2 make

Translation: I have been thinking lately and I have a few resolutions I'd like to make.

Tweet: i wll b frugal till ive paid wat i owe.

Translation: I will be frugal until I have paid what I owe.

Tweet: 2 tell da rth all da time

Translation: To tell the truth all the time.

Tweet: 2 werk hard at watever im doin at da time.

Translation: To work hard at whatever I am doing at the time.

Tweet: & 2 spck gewd of all peple.

Translation: And to Speak good of all people.

Tweet: im publisihn d Pen Gazette! ths pper wil B > thn d odr 1s.

Translation: I am publishing the Pennsylvania Gazette! This paper will be better than the other ones.

Tweet: Merridith S no longA pRTnR of d biz. h+I hd a lttle ch@, & he is now ohw 2 bein a farmer.

Translation: Merridith is no longer a partner of the business. He and I had a little chat, and he is now on his way to become a farmer.

Tweet: I wed Debbie! almst 404 her yL I wz in Lndon, but now w' R hapily wed. :

Translation: I married Debbie! I almost lost her while I was in London, but now we are married happily!

Tweet: oops.. i hve a kid... bt he's nt Debbies... ths S bad. :(

Translation: Oops... I now have a child.... but he isn't Debbie's....... this is bad.

Tweet: Ahh dis S awkrd. :-P thngs r wurkin ot bt it isn't a pleasnt situ. X(

Translation: Ahh this is awkward. Things are working out, but it isn't a pleasant situation.

Tweet: Debbie hs 4givn me 4 my folly n gewd news! shes preg!

Translation: Debbie has forgiven me for my folly and good news! She's pregnant!

Tweet: mah nu bb boy hs been brn! Francis Folger Frankiln! Trip F S 1dfl!

Translation: My new baby boy has been born! Francis Folger Franklin! F.F.F. is wonderful!

Tweet: phili hs a librE! twas a lil tricky 2 gtN pple 2 subcribe 2 it, bt its hre nun th lss.

Translation: Philadelphia has a library! It was a little tricky getting people to subscribe to it, but it's here none the less.

Tweet: th Gazette S doiN wel! im vry proud of it!

Translation: The Gazette is doing well! I am very proud of it!

Tweet: joinin th masons 2day. ths grp is filled wth all sorts of interesting connexions. :)

Translation: Joining the masons today. This group S filD W ll sorts of interestin connections.

Tweet: sad tyms :'( FFF id ded of smllpx. he ws 1ly 4 yrs old. i knw i shld of inoculated hm whn i hd da chnce. ; __;

Translation: Sad times. So Sad, Franklin has died of smallpox. He was only 4 years old. I knew I should of inoculated him when I had the chance. Crying

Tweet: i tink i shll *t an almanack. :) bt wat shll i cll it. :I.......

Translation: I think I shall start an almanack. But what shall I call it. Hmmm....

Tweet: Poor Richard's Almanack S bein publshd. Richard Saunders is a gr8 altr ego. ths S so mch fun!! :D

Translation: Poor Richard's Almanack is being published. Richard Saunders is a great alter ego! This is so much fun!

Tweet: im doiN wel, bt th CT is nt! Fires R a hazard nd we nd a wy 2 stp em! i propose a fyr fy10 clb!

Translation: I'm doing well but the city is not! Fires are a hazard and we need a way to stop them! I propose a fire fighting club.

Tweet: Mah ppr S doiN wel, bt Bradford S pstmastA & I cnt mail mah ppr w/o bribin da carriers. :P

Translation: My paper is doing well, but Bradford is post master and I can't mail my paper without bribing the carriers. :P

Tweet: ROFLOL!!! Bradford ws n idiot nd gt hiz acounts mssed ^. he hd 3 retirend i gt hiz job!

Translation: I'm rolling on the floor laughing out Loud!! Bradford was an idiot and got his accounts messed up. He had to retire and I got his job!

Tweet: B-ing a pstmastr is hrder thn i thout,but im makin gewd conections.

Translation: Being a post master is harder than I thought, but I am making good connections.

Tweet: Lts of interestin religion poltix goin on ryt now. :P

Translation: Lots of interesting religion politics going on right now. :P

Tweet: Debbi S preg agn! :D i cnt w8 4 mah kid!

Translation: Debbie is Pregnant again! :D I can't wait for my child!

Tweet: Sara Franklin hs bn brn 9-11-1743! We cll hr Sally!

Translation: Sarah Franklin has been born September 11, 1743! We call her Sally!

Tweet: sally <3 2 read. :D im so prd of hr!

Translation: Sally loves to read! I am so proud of her!

Tweet: ROFL! Ther s dis guy hu wntd 2 join da masons. bt he rn in2 da wrng grp of pple. So thy mde ^ a "mason ritual" tht s ttly fake. XD  Poor bozo finxs he's in da Masons.

Translation: I'm rolling on the floor laughing! There is this guy who wanted to join the masons, but he ran into the wrong group of people. So they made up a "mason ritual" that ws totally fake. Poor idiot now thinks he's in the masons.

Tweet: OMG. ths fke mason thing hs gttn ot of hnd. sme1 ws an idt & splled boilin oil ovr da poor guy, & killed hm. 0_o

Translation: Oh My God! This fake mason thing has gotten out of hand. Someone was an idiot and spilled boiling oil over the poor guy and killed him.

Tweet: >:-0 ! NW PPLE R BAMIN ME 4 HIS DETH.

Translation: ARRRGH! NOW PEOPLE ARE BLAMING ME FOR HIS DEATH!

Tweet: bradford's nwsppr is really flamin me 4 dis fke msn ting. :'(

Translation: Bradford's news paper is really flaming me for this Fake Mason thing. I feel bad about it.

Tweet: mah biz S getin 2 d point whr i cn retire. whch i wll do. :)

Translation: My business is getting to the point where I can retire. Which I will do. I'm pretty happy about that!

Tweet: Retirin n movN 2day! Debbie's plsed W d mve + i wll hve mre tym 2 get hobEZ.

Translation: Retiring and moving today! Debbie's pleased with the move, and I will have more time to aquire hobbies.

Tweet: Scice n AC/DC s vry intrstin. mst stdy furthA.

Translation: Science and electricity is very interesting. Must study further.

Tweet: Gt sum generators & Lieden jrs 2day. Dis S gonna B fun! >:)

Translation: Got some generators and Lieden jars today. This is going to be fun! EVIL GRIN!

Tweet: d jrs r kinda weak on der own, so i lined em ^ lik a b@RE of soldiers. :l...... b@RE... i cUd uz dat sumhw.

Translation: The jars are kinda weak on there own, so I lined them up like a battery of soldiers Hmmm.... battery...I could use that somehow...

Tweet: i 1dr f AC/DC cUd kil somtin. iL tst dis on chckens. KFC NE1?

Translation: I wonder if electricity could kill something. I'll test this on chickens.  KFC anyone?

Tweet: it wrks! AC/DC is dangrus stuf. i 1dr hw mch it wUd tak 2 kll a turkE

Translation: It WORKS! Electricity is dangerous stuff.  I wonder how much it would take to kill a turkey.

Tweet: Hostin a turkE dinA 2day! im invitin evry1 who S NE1! Elctrified f%d tastes btr thn regula f%d.

Translation: Hosting a turkey dinner today! I'm inviting everyone who is anyone!  Electrified food tastes better than regular food!

Tweet: da dinA went wel! bt i wz remindd of d danger of AC/DC. i tuched a metal pole dat wz chrgd. It nockD me ryt on my(_(_)! OW!

Translation: The dinner went well! But I was reminded of the dangers of electricity. I touched a metal pole that was charged. It knocked me right on my butt! OUCH!

Tweet: d turkE dinA wz fun! i wz =) by d wire n fell on my (_(_). XD OW BCful W dis stuf!

Translation: The turkey dinner was fun! I was shocked by the wire and fell on my butt. Ow Be careful with this stuff!

Tweet: I 1dr f lytnin S d same kinda AC/DC as my knd.

Translation: I wonder if lightning is the same kind of electricity as my kind.

Tweet: I'm ot flyN a kyt W my son! ina lytnin strm! :D

Translation: I'm out flying a kite with my son! In a lightning storm!

Tweet: lytnin S d same as reg AC/DC!

Translation: Lightning is the same as regular electricity!

Tweet: Ive a nu pole on my hous th@ protects it frm lytnin. :D

Translation: I have a new pole on my house that protects it from lightning.

Tweet: dis sci stuf S givin me sum fame! mor &mor ppl wnt dis AC/DC pole on tr hous.

Translation: This science stuff is giving me some fame! More and more people want this electric pole on their house.

Tweet: d local chrch duznt lk d lytnin poles. dey claim dat lytnin S N act of god dat shd nt B messed W. WE

Translation: The local church doesn't like the lightning poles. They claim that lightning is an act of god that should not be messed with. whatever

Tweet: I invntd a nu genre stov dat shd wrk btr thN d reg stov.

Translation: I invented a new type of stove that should work better than the regular stove.

Tweet: My nu stove S selln wel!

Translation: My new stove is selling well!

Tweet: ll of my budEs finx d stov S 2 confusin. Their lss I spose.

Translation: All of my friends thinks the stove is too complicated. Their loss I suppose.

Tweet: i tnk dat the Amricas nEd a Uni 4t less wlthy. i shll Bgin raisn funds. LTGB!

Translation: I think that the Americas need a university for the less wealthy. I shall begin raising funds. Let the Games begin!

Tweet: Fundrsin s goin wel. i rased 2K! :D dis S orsum!!!

Translation: Fundraising is going well! I raised 2000! This is FANTASTIC!

Tweet: skool fundraisin wnt so wel dat i Dcided 2 found a hsptl. Dis reQ more funds tho...

Translation: The school fundraising went so well that I decided to found a hospital. This requires more funds though...

Tweet: i cam ^ W a pln 2 raise d $! i tlkD 2 da gov, & thy agred dat f 2K cn B raisd priv8ly, thN dey wl don8 2K . :D

Translation: I came up with a plan to raise the money! I talked to the Goverment and they agreed that if 2000 can be raised privately then they will donate 2000. :D

Tweet: :D Im now a membR of d PA Assmby. dis wll giv me mor pwr 2 doogud.

Translation: I am now a member of the Pennsylvania Assembly. This will give me more power to do good.

Tweet: PA S a Proprietary clny. th@ means itz mostly governed by 1 kin. d Penns own dis clny n ll dey wn2 do S kppp their own proprty tax fre.

Translation: Pennsylvania is a Proprietary colony. That means it is mostly governed by one family. The Penns own this colony and all they want to do is keep their own property tax free.

Tweet: we d ppl nd 2 Unite 2gtha. there's a war W d /:-) goin on n d Penns Rnt helpin.

Translation: We the people need to Unite together. There is a war with the French going on and the Penns are not helping.

Tweet: d Penns realy Rnt helpin. they've ticked off a local native tribe, n now dat tribe S siding W d /:-).

Translation: The Penns REALLY aren't helping. They have ticked off a local native tribe, and now that tribe is siding with the French.

Tweet: wel Ive sum gud nws. :D I jst bcAm d top pstmster 4t clnies! dis S gr8!

Translation: Well I have some good news. I just became the top postmaster for the colonies! This is great!

Tweet:I bcAm a colonel 4t volntry militia! d Pen kin duznt lk dis.

Translation: I became a colonel for the voluntary militia! The Pen family doesn't like this.

Tweet: d Pens av got d king's ministers 2 cancel d militia. im sad, bt I won't fyt em bout dis.

Translation: The Pens have got the king's ministers to cancel the militia. I'm sad, but I won't fight them about this.

Tweet: wel Im headin ovr 2 Ldn 2 T2 d proprietors. W Ny luk they'll *t 2 tax their lnds.

Translation: Well I am heading over to London to talk to the proprietors. With any luck they'll start to tax their lands.

Tweet: arrived in London! mah sn Will is hre 2. i thght he cld lrn a thing or 2 frm dis trip.

Translation: Arrived in London! My son Will is here too. I thought he could learn a thing or two from the trip.

Tweet: met W d Pens. thngs seem 2B goin wel

Translation: Met with the Pens. Things seem to be going well.

Tweet: d Penns r bn stuborn. Ø S getN done. I tnk I may av 404 dis cauZ. :P

Translation: The Penns are being stubborn. Nothing is getting done. I think I may have lost this cause.

Tweet: A compro hs bn md... bt nther d Penns or I r hpE W it.

Translation: A compromise has been made... but neither the Penns or I are happy with it.

Tweet: 2 scotl&! Ive sum boffin F? der. dis shd B a fun ~0~!

Translation: To Scotland! I have some scientist friends there. This should be a fun summer!

Tweet: wll im bck in lndn. im goin 2 wtch da cornation of KG3.

Translation: Well I'm back in London. I'm going to watch the coronation of King George III.

 

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Sources

Brands, H.W.. The First American: The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin . New York: Anchor Books, 2002.

Isaacson, Walter. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life . New York: Simon and Schuster, 2003.